Arrived at Lalo’s Mexican Restaurant in Berwyn, IL last night and found this minivan parked next to my car.
1. It was a man driving the minivan.
2. You could probably safely assume that this man’s WIFE bought this stupid sticker. Because no self-respecting male Bears fan would EVER purchase that, I don’t care how many beers he’d downed. Yeah, that’s sexist. So is the rest of the world. Get over it.
3. While I’d normally assume that the man was driving his wife’s minivan, the windows also featured a sticker of Calvin (of Calvin & Hobbes) wearing a Blackhawks cap, pissing on a Phillies player.
So, let’s examine the sticker itself.
First off, Attention: PC Police. You’re not going to like this.
The guy was Mexican. What we have here, aside from a (totally distorted!) reflection of me taking the picture (will have to be a little smarter about THAT from now on), is a bunch of smiley white people. And a dog. All with Bears logos on their shirts. Because the “Our Bears Family” and the big Bears helmet weren’t the first clue. Nope, these pickles are such big Bears fans, they have to have the logo on all of their clothing. And their dog.
Look, if you’re going to put these stupid things on your rear window, at least have them actually represent what your family looks like. This bunch? Look like a bunch of typical white-suburbia, nuclear-family, church-going, Target-shopping, power-walking pukes. The people on that sticker go to Starbuck’s every morning and plan exquisite, over-priced birthday parties for their adorable, blond-haired, blue-eyed daughters. Stereotype? You bet.
The only thing I can guess is that whoever is selling these “Our Bears Family” stick family stickers only makes them for white people.
Newsflash, stupid stick-figure family sticker manufacturers: Bears fans come in all skin colors. Even sometimes orange and blue, though that’s usually meticulously applied facepaint.
